Who/ Where
are we?
"The lowest ebb is the turn of the tide."
"The EDA has lots of information and help lines."
"Step lightly into Christmas..with an open mind and an open heart..with no expectations, no pressure..just be true to yourself and to those you love. *** And...if it does all go wrong, look forward to the better times to come! Learn from it, then let it go..." Christmas message from Carol
Candles steady, bright in a room breathing peace. Dim, the corners retreat into glimmer.
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Steps to finding help for families, friends and sufferers Recognition and proper treatment of an eating disorder can make a big difference to recovery and the timescale of that recovery - the earlier the better. If you have noticed any signs and symptoms which make you suspect some-one may be sliding into eating distress, don’t ignore it. Here are a few things you might try. These are general guidelines - age will be a factor in your approach, as will your relationship to your loved one, friend, parent, teacher - Think about what you would like to say and how you want to say it. Where, when and how are all very important. Find a quiet time when you and the person you want to help are both relaxed and unlikely to be interrupted - avoid mealtimes, or when rushing out to school or work, or already busy with another activity. A good time might perhaps be on a weekend or holiday morning, perhaps when out walking or during a journey. Quietly mention what you have noticed and express your concerns and ask if there is anything you can do to help. Be prepared for a variety of responses from complete dismissal of your concerns (often a sufferer does not recognise/denies that they are ill) to great relief that some-one is offering help and support. Don't expect
change overnight. Expect the illness to resist carers' efforts
to help - entrenched resistance shows that the illness feels under
threat...it doesn't like to be challenged! Try to keep up
calm and consistent encouragement
towards recognising and acknowledging how eating behaviour
may be affecting the person's life and plans for the future, for
instance not having enough energy to take part in activities. If the response is positive, ask what you could do to help. Suggest talking to a GP. Offer to support the person in doing this, and in any future treatment (perhaps a nurse therapist, dietitian or other specialist in eating disorders). Offer to help them find out helpful information (perhaps from this website!) If the response is negative, say how much you care about your relative/friend, and reassure that you would be glad if they want to talk another time about what you have noticed. If, after a time, you are still worried, again think of how, when and where to approach the subject. Again find a quiet place, say what you have noticed, stress how much you care and reassure that you want to help. Ask what the person feels they could do to reassure you that your worries are groundless…. Try hard to remain calm and encouraging - not easy when you are worried. Becoming agitated will not help and may even have a counterproductive effect. The person you are worried about may be driven further into denial about any problems. Discuss your worries with your GP, or perhaps with a friend or colleague, and ask what s/he might suggest. Write down your worries (a journal may show a pattern over a period of time) Write down your worries in a letter, and give it to your GP for consideration. The EDA has lots of information and help lines & can be contacted for more help and information. Try to find a local support group.
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