"A carer might be your Mum, your friend, a special friend or a special teacher"

"A friend is someone who is there for you."

Remember, when travelling with a child or invalid, in the event of an emergency, put your own mask on first – you can’t help anyone if you don’t!’

How can family and friends help?

Carers

A carer is -

some-one who supports family, partner or friend because they are ill, frail or have a disability. The care they provide is unpaid. (Scottish Mental Health and Wellbeing Support Group).

some-one who has had to change their lifestyle in order to care for/take responsibility for another individual who is experiencing mental health problems. (Clinical Standards Board for Scotland)

"The strain on these informal carers can be severe, resulting in an increased risk of both physical and mental ill health. It is important to review how the carer is managing and encourage them to find ways of reducing the stress on them."
World Health Organisation.

What can carers do to help?

Families can help support sufferers in their struggle with the effects of an eating disorder, by

trying to reassure that they love the person with the eating disorder, while finding the behaviour associated with starvation or bingeing very difficult – it is the behaviour that is unacceptable, they still love the person with the eating disorder

trying calmly to encourage and motivate their loved one to think about how their eating behaviour is affecting their own lives and the lives of those they live with

trying calmly to encourage and motivate their loved one to recognise that their eating behaviour is having negative effects on their own lives and those of others

trying calmly to encourage and motivate their loved one to seek specialist help

trying calmly to encourage communication within the family about how health problems may be affecting everyone in the family, not just the ill person

trying to calmly support and encourage the sufferer in all their efforts to change their eating behaviour

recognising that there will probably be many setbacks on the road through denial of problems, recognition of problems, actively seeking help to tackle the eating and other problems, maintaining the efforts….

expecting resistance - this is part of the illness, especially in the 'precontemplation' (or denial) phase before change can be contemplated by the person with the eating disorder. The entrenched resistance to suggestions of change is a sign that the illness feels challenged and under theat.

recognising that to be able to help, encourage and support in the battle against anorexia, bulimia or binge eating disorder over a long period of time, it is very important for families to find support, help and encouragement themselves

recognising that no matter how much family members want to help, it is the sufferer who has to work through all the changes necessary to recover

looking for the support they need to enable them to offer constructive support to the sufferer

It is extremely difficult to constantly remain calm, most especially over a long period of time, while coping with the effects of an eating disorder on the whole family as well as the sufferer.

Carers may find it helpful to seek out books and/or workshops on effective communication in stressful situations, for instance, assertiveness training.

Counselling may also help, as well as talking to GP about how the carer feels about their own health and ability to cope.